The Way to Love

The way to the heart is through the ears.

—Katie Hurley

We all want open to our hearts to be able to call Love to us, and once we have it to be able to experience it to the fullest. We want no part of us left unconsumed by its gifts. I am going to make a contradictory statement when I say that the heart is easily opened and even more easily closed. Katherine Whitehorn said, “I am all for people having their heart in the right place, but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.” Unfortunately for most, we spend more time in our heads thinking about our broken heart—our history, betrayal, breakups, etc. This leaves our hearts fairly closed. Protection becomes the name of the game. Some people make choices to leave Love behind, or sometimes even more painful is the illusion that our heart is opened when it is really closed, and we live in a feeling of bewilderment, not quite understanding why Love never works out for us.

Opening Your Heart to a Relationship

Seeds, like hearts, must open to grow.” —Carol Horos

Make a Choice

Just tell yourself that from this moment forward you are making the choice to be open to and welcome Love. In that one little moment, with that one little choice, you have given your body and soul permission and direction to support you in your quest for Love. You will start to view how much Love there is in your life already and start to express it more freely and automatically. The more Love you put out into the universe, the more the universe will return it back to you tenfold. Then the dance of Love will start circulating through your life, in your energy field, and, eventually, in your reality.

Expand and Include

Yes, I have talked about your relationship starting with you, and it must in order for you to have the relationship you want. In order to feel Love and authentically be able to give Love, you must have it for yourself first. You must create the relationship you desire with yourself first, and start to live your great, fabulous, awesome life first. All that being said, sometimes we forget if we would like a relationship, we need to include someone else in the picture. In this idea of self-Love, we need to add the idea of Loving another. Think about the idea of opening up your scope. The trick is to not contract the energy you put toward yourself but to expand your energy enough to include someone else.

Make Room

Independence is one of the gifts you receive in learning how to Love yourself. Independence is a blessing. Sometimes if people are unconsciously fearful of a relationship, this fabulous independence puts off an “I don’t need you” vibe and keeps others at bay and can easily be hidden behind. Others just experience the fact that you don’t need anyone and therefore think that you must not want anyone; once again you are keeping people at bay. The idea of Love is not to need anyone but to want them. Your partner or potential partner will desire to feel and to truly be wanted by you. In order to have that you will need to create room for someone to share experiences, to help you do things, to share in decisions, and to generally be included in your life.

Surrender Your Ego

Ego has no place in Love. Everybody is right. Everybody is wrong. Nobody really knows the truth about what happened. Even if you were on a reality show and had a tape, everyone would have a different perspective. Needing to be right or to have things your way is just a way to hold on to the hurt. There is a feeling that if we can control things, we can be safe from hurt. Spending your time keeping yourself safe keeps you out of the Love you desire. By placing your focus on safety rather than Love, you create more hurt than Love. Let go of the ambitions, paranoia, and phobias that the ego creates.

Embrace Vulnerability

There is no such thing as an intimate relationship without vulnerability. One of the definitions of vulnerability is “without adequate protection.” Vulnerability leaves us open to the possibility of pain and suffering, but without it, there is no possibility of intimacy. One definition of intimacy is “a close personal relationship.” A relationship without intimacy and vulnerability would never be a satisfying relationship. To have the kind of relationship that most people desire means we must find the place in us that is willing to face the risk that we may get hurt but live like we will not.

Find the Child

Innocence plays a key role in being open to Love. Each moment of your relationship should be met with the wonderment and beauty of a first-time experience. Each moment is a new one with new possibilities and gifts. It only resembles an old moment if we choose to connect it to moments from our past.

Heal Your Past

I always find it interesting that people try so hard to dodge their past. It is never as bad as you fear. If you are willing to heal your past, then you are free. Who would you be story-free? Who would you be if you were no longer willing to hold on to the victim? Sometimes the possibility to live in our authenticity can be a daunting one. I call it the fear of being fabulous because believe me you are.

The key to opening up to Love is to expand your focus to include someone else. Change the “me” to a “we”. To create the “we,” all you are doing is flipping the “m” so the “me” is always available to you, yet so is the relationship. I always say, “It is not an either/or situation. It is a situation that includes both yourself and someone else.”

May Your New Year be filled with greater LOVE!

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